The entrance to Kripalu

I’m currently training to be a restorative yoga teacher at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health (read my previous post about why I chose this training). Things that have stuck out most for me so far:

• A sign in the stairwell that reads, “Yoga is the practice of tolerating the consequences of being yourself”-Bhagavad Gita
• Eating breakfast in silence (a daily practice here) – savoring your food, reflecting on your intention for the day.
• Restorative yoga is a rare opportunity to go inward – to BE versus DO. The more you practice, the more connected you feel to all parts of yourself.
• The goal of restorative yoga is to release habitual tension in order to calm your body, breath and mind…this is called the relaxation response, and it triggers your parasympathetic nervous system, which allows you to rest, digest, heal (versus the sympathetic nervous system, which floods us with adrenaline as part of our “fight or flight” response to stress).
• As a restorative yoga teacher, your goal is to help students be gently alert, without falling asleep – so they know what it feels like to be relaxed. The more you experience relaxation, the more you develop a kind of muscle memory that can help you relax off the mat, out in the world.

…and it’s only Monday afternoon! More to come…

Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles, on the grounds of the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

I’m off to Kripalu this week for Restorative Yoga Therapeutic Teacher Training (description here, if you’re curious) with Jillian Pransky.

In 1999 Pransky left her job as a marketing director at a publishing house to teach yoga full-time. The first time she quit, it caused her so much anxiety that she went back a few days later – and then left a year later, for good. In an article on the Kripalu website, Pransky shares that part of what motivated her to make this life change was seeing her 34-year-old sister in law die of breast cancer:

“..in her passing there came that immediate question, Am I spending every minute in a way that completely allows me to engage life as fully as possible?”

Her story really resonates with me. First of all, I too once tried to quit a job and then decided to stay after all… and then quit a year or so later. Even when we know it’s time to leave something – the leaving can be hard, especially when our identity is so tied up in that which we’re leaving behind.

Also, I’m at a crossroads in my life now where even though I have a good job – a job I often enjoy (as Pransky enjoyed hers) – I can’t shake the feeling that it’s just not what I was put on this earth to do. I think of it like: Picasso might have been a great bartender, but what if he’d poured cocktails instead of painting Guernica?

The analogy is no coincidence – not because I want to paint, but because I’m an artist (improviser, performer, writer), and lately, my artist identity has been gasping for air. I know I need to be doing more art. I don’t know the rest – what that means for my life, my income. I just know that I am supposed to make a change, and I know it in every fiber of my body.

In the meantime, my aunt, who I love very dearly, is fighting cancer, and I feel called to this yoga training. I have always responded very strongly to restorative yoga, and it’s brought me great peace at times when nothing else could. I want to give that gift to others – to people with cancer, to the people who love them, and to others who are struggling. I believe I have a gift for relaxing people. It’s interesting, the juxtaposition between my interest in comedy and my interest in healing…

I’m going in with an open mind, ready to learn. I’m not Hindu, but I like the symbolism of Lord Ganesh as a remover of obstacles (hence the photo above, which was taken by Flickr user Heather Katsoulis). I want this training to help me see the obstacles in my path to becoming who I’m supposed to be. That said, I’ve learned that yoga journeys do not always turn out the way we expect, or even the way we hope, so I’m open to whatever this journey may be.

Namaste.

Why is it so hard for us to admit what it is what we really want?

Maybe it’s easier to be unhappy; unhappy feels safe. Or maybe we’re afraid of disappointing someone we love, someone who counts on us being as we are.

Whatever the psychology of the situation, one thing is clear: Watching someone do what they want to be doing is a glorious, joyful thing. And that’s why I hope you’ll come to the New York Musical Improv Festival this Friday, where my husband, Jordan, will be performing with Vox Pop.

Did that feel like an elaborate set-up for what’s basically a plug for Jordan’s show?

It was, to some extent. I’ll own that.

But also – seeing Jordan perform recently, and being in a bit of an existential pickle myself, I’ve been reflecting on the power of doing what you want to do…the thing that absolutely lights you up inside, that you’d do even if no one paid you, that immerses you in a glorious state of flow.  For that is the thing we MUST do, my friends. Otherwise, we are treading water, and calling it life.

See Vox Pop – Friday November 12, 8:00pm, Magnet Theater. Tix are $15.